


Drowning

by Lia1996



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Surfers, Angst, Bottom Jared, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Hurt Jensen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Protective Jared, Smut, Switching, Top Jensen, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia1996/pseuds/Lia1996
Summary: Jared lives near the bay and he is a pro_surfer who also teaches kids. One day he starts seeing a man come near the shore and watch the kids while they play and surf but he never comes close and he never takes off his shirt...
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 9
Kudos: 300
Collections: 2020 Supernatural Reversebang Challenge





	1. The mysterious guy

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever Reverse bang thanks to my motivator @dwimpala67 that encouraged me to participate this year.
> 
> I was lucky enough to be paired with wonderful blondebitz. Together we decided to create for the idea i had in my mind for a while and with few changes, we came up with this fic.  
> Please show her some love on her LJ.  
> https://blondebitz.livejournal.com
> 
> Also you can see all of her wonderful art for this fic here  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529906
> 
> After that i was blessed again when @candygramme accepted to beta this story for me. This fic wouldn't have been here if she didn't give me her incredible insights.
> 
> I want to thank our wonderful mod to holding up this challange this year. It really was a fun ride.
> 
> And at last thank you all so much for reading this fic. Your comments and insights are much appreciated.

“Wonderful, Mike! You did a great job today, buddy!”

Jared told the cute five year old boy while high fiving him. Jared had a great day. In fact all of his days had been great since he came to Green Bay. He had a great life, a great job and great friends. He’d left San Antonio six years ago, when he turned eighteen. Not that he didn’t love his childhood city, on the contrary, he loved his family, and he loved his hometown, but he loved the sea more. He wanted to be somewhere that he could wake up to the sound of waves each morning, he wanted to feel the breeze on his face and, most importantly, he wanted to surf.

He was great surfer. Ever since he was a child, each summer he would go to his uncle’s house in Green bay and learned how to surf, which made him one of the best proficient surfers in the whole country, when he was just eleven years old. That’s why as soon as he turned eighteen he came to Green bay, to live near his uncle and the sea.

He was now a surf instructor, teaching both adults and kids how to surf. But mostly, he taught kids. After moving to Green Bay to become a professional surfer he soon found out that he didn’t like to enter competitions, he didn’t want to be surfer to win trophies. No! Surfing was his love, his passion. He loved the splash of water on his skin, he loved the feeling of the wind softly blowing in his face. He loved the excitement, so he chose another path.

Jared loved interacting with kids, his nephews adored him, and he’d earned most of his pocket money by babysitting children in the neighborhood when he was in high school. So he combined two of his interests and enrolled into college and studied child care. Now he was the best surf instructor for kids in the area and even beyond. So many people came to Green Bay in summer just so their kids could learn how to surf with Jared.

“See ya again on Monday, Mike.” Jared told the kid.

He started collecting his stuff, so he could go home for the day. That’s when he sensed someone looking at him from far away. When he looked up he saw a young man probably around his age looking at him from a hill few feet away. When he smiled at the man, he turned around and bolted.

_Odd_ , Jared thought. He was startled out of his thought when a hand patted him on the back.  
“Hey Jay man!” When Jared turned around he saw Chad, his long time friend grinning at him, which meant they were going to get into trouble soon enough.

"Hey Chad! What mischief do you have for us this time?” Jared asked him with a knowing smirk.

"No mischief I swear!” Chad said, crossing his heart, “I just came here to tell you that Chris summoned us all for a guys hanging out night, and there is absolutely no way out!”

"So getting drunk and regretting it the day after! The usual mischief” Jared told him as he picked up his back pack and started walking towards his car, Chad following him

"Do you have any better plans, Jaybird? Any dates we don’t know of?” Chad asked him.

"No, no dates! And since I wasn’t smart enough the day I chose my friends I’m stuck with you losers for the weekend!”

"Ouch, sometimes your words…Jared.. they hurt!” Chad fake cried.

Jared chuckled at him, “Okay, drama queen! I have to go home to shower, then I’ll head over to Chris’s!" He opened the car’s door and got in.

"DON’T BE LATE MAN!” Chad yelled after him.  
XXXX  
When Jared got home, he took a shower and then made a coffee for himself. He thought a little caffeine before the night out wasn’t a bad thing.

As he was drinking his coffee, his mind went to the young man near the beach again. In the few seconds that his eyes had met the stranger’s he’d seen deep sadness. He hadn’t seen the guy before. Green Bay was a small town and pretty much everyone knew each other in the town so this man probably just moved in.

Jared made a mental note to ask his uncle next time he saw him. He now ran the local grocery store aka the unofficial news agency, so he probably knew the guy.

He shook himself out of those thoughts, for now he needed to get ready and get to Chris’s house.  
XXXX  
Jared woke up with a groan. Damn Chad and Chris for making him drink more than he should. Now Jared had to spend all of his Sunday hung over. He was cursing himself for his own stupidity when the door bell rang.

_Now who’s that, better not be Chad ‘cause I’m gonna kill the guy,_ Jared thought and went to see who was knocking on his door on a Sunday morning.

When Jared opened the door he was greeted by his uncle’s face, “Uncle Jeff?”

“Hey, Boy. Morning to you, although it’s near twelve o’clock, so good noon!” Jeff said smirking. When all Jared did was groan in his response, Jeff continued, “Aren’t you gonna invite me in, boy?”

“Oh yes sorry, uncle, please, come on in.” Jared opened the door fully and stepped aside so Jeff could get into the hallway

“So I guess you had a fun night?” Jeff asked Jared as he followed him in the kitchen.

“Coffee?” Jared asked, turning on the coffee maker.

“Yeah, thanks.” Jeff said.

“It was fun, yeah, the usual gang hanging out at Chris, but you know Chad and Chris. They have no control over their liquor, and they have like hundreds of drinking games, and each time I tell myself this is last time I listen to those idiots, and yet here I am hung over as…”

“Language, my boy.” Jeff told Jared which made him groan in frustration.

“So anyway… what brought you here today?” Jared asked Jeff.

“You mean I can’t just visit my nephew on a weekend?” Jeff said, pretending to be offended. When Jared gave him a knowing look while handing him the steaming cup of coffee, Jeff chuckled and continued, “Okay you got me there, boy, although I really wanted to see you too, but that’s not all.”  
Jeff took a sip of his coffee and said, “Do you remember my old friend Samantha? She was here one summer when you visited with Meg and Jeff!” when Jared nodded his head, Jeff continued. “She called me about a month ago. She was pretty sad and distressed. She asked me to find a small condo for her nephew. She said something about an awful tragedy happening in the family, and that her nephew needed desperately to change his environment.”  
Jeff took a breath and a sip of his coffee. he looked at Jared and saw he was listening intently at him, so he carried on, “So story short, the guy moved here about a week ago, and, other than the first day when I gave him his keys, I haven’t seen the kid. And even on that encounter he was pretty distant and didn’t say more than yes or no!”

Jared was interested now, and he couldn’t help it but think about the strange man he’d seen near the beach yesterday. But he still couldn’t understand why his uncle was telling him all this. So Jared asked him, “Umm… okay, uncle, but you are telling me all this ‘cause…?”

"I want you to check on him! Look the reason Samantha pushed the boy here was ‘cause she trusted me and wanted me to take care of him. But so far I’ve had no luck getting through to him. He doesn’t answer my calls or my texts and even when I went to his house the other day he didn’t open the door, so I don’t know…I thought maybe since you are young, and he is young, you can get close to him better than me, make him to open up… even start his life again.” Jeff told him.

Jared was shocked at what his uncle was asking of him. He wasn’t sure he could do that, “Look, uncle Jeff, maybe he wants to be alone for a while right now, maybe he needs some time to gather his thoughts…”

Jeff interrupted him. “He locked himself away from the world for 5 months before he came here according to Sam. Do you think he needs more than that to gather his thoughts?”

_Well damn something bad must have happened_ , Jared thought. And no this definitely wasn’t just the guy trying to get back to life, no this sounded like someone who had quit life all together.

When Jeff saw Jared’s silence he asked, “So can you do that for me?”

Jared took a deep breath and said, “Man… Jeff.. I mean! It’s gonna be hard to help someone that doesn’t want any help…” Jared paused thinking how can he help, After few seconds he said, “what was the tragedy anyway?”

"I don’t know! Sam was desperate and said she couldn’t talk about it, so I didn’t pry. But what ever it was, I can honestly tell you it has shaken them all, mostly Jensen!”

_Jensen_ , Jared repeated the name in his head, he didn’t know why but he felt connected to the name, like someone with that name was already part of him. After few seconds of silence Jared said, “Okay, so how can I help this Jensen?”

"Well right now just try to get him out of his shell. Maybe show him around! At least get him out of that house! Be his friend. I think that’s what the guy needs most right now.”

Jared thought about it all. “Okay, Okay! I’ll do it!” he said smiling at Jeff. “Now I was thinking of ordering a pizza for lunch, ‘cause I’m starving… are you in or out, old man?” Jared asked Jeff teasing.

"Oh I’m all in, punk! So what are we marathon watching this Sunday?”

"I’m catching up on the flash and whole arrow ‘verse. Things are getting pretty exciting,” Jared said enthusiastically.

"Ah to be 22!” Jeff rolled his eyes at Jared’s choice of movie, but Jared smiled at him while dialing the pizza place, knowing how Jeff secretly loved all that _‘sci_fi shit’_ as he, himself called it.  
XXXXX  
Later that day, after Jeff left, leaving Jared with Jensen’s address and phone number, he decided to give it a try. It was Sunday afternoon, and Jared didn’t have anything to do. So it was a good time to start his “rescue Jensen” mission.

He decided to give the guy a call. After all, he couldn’t just show up at his door. It definitely wasn’t polite when you knew someone, but it was downright creepy when you did it to a stranger. So Jared picked up the phone and dialed Jensen’s number.

The phone rang for several seconds but to no answer. Jared tried again but the result was the same. So Jeff wasn’t kidding when he’d said the man had cut all ties with the outside world. There was a battle in Jared’s head. On one hand he knew he couldn’t just go over to the guy’s house and on the other hand the story that Jeff told him, Jared really wanted to help Jensen. The memory of those sad eyes near the beach wouldn’t leave him alone either.  
Of course Jared wasn’t sure if the man he’d seen the other day was Jensen, but from the way Jeff described him, he could bet his money that the sad guy was probably Jensen. Jared was at a loss as to what to do, but thankfully the choice was out of his hands when his door bell rang for second time that day.

When Jared opened the door he found Katie on his doorstep. Katie was another one of Jared’s friends here in Green Bay. They’d become friends soon after Jared started working as a surf instructor. Katie was a surfer herself too.

“Hey JP! I see you still don’t have anything interesting to do on a Sunday afternoon!” She told him with a smirk.

“Say’s the girl standing at my door on a Sunday afternoon!” Jared shot back, made them both chuckle.

“Touché! But today the weather was awesome, and when I looked out of my window I saw the sea was that beautiful blue that still mesmerizes me, so I thought we should go surfing, you know, ‘cause its so much more fun when you have company! But like just the two of us… you know? No kids or whiny adults to teach. Just enjoying the wind and the sea, so what do you say? Pretty pleaseeeee?” She asked him, breathless but excited.

Jared chuckled at her enthusiasm, but he couldn’t deny it, the sea and the weather truly were perfect to surf. “Okay, I’ll come. Just let me grab my stuff, and we are good to go!” Katie squealed and lunged herself at Jared kissing his cheek. Jared laughed at her, and untangling her from his arms he started towards his bedroom to grab his stuff. Suddenly remembering his previous thoughts before Katie came. _I’ll try to catch up with him tomorrow_ , Jared thought.  
XXXXX

The sea truly was perfect. Jared loved surfing, and he also loved his job, but once in a while he needed this. Katie was right. It was nice to just be there to surf, and to just enjoy. ‘Cause teaching people to surf, quite aside from the difficulty, was dangerous too. You were literally responsible for people’s lives when you wanted to teach them surfing. It was a huge responsibility that took all of your attention, and it didn’t truly let you enjoy the moment. So it was no wonder that Jared and Katie surfed pretty much till the sun was setting, and it was beginning to get dark.

When they finally decided to call it quits, Jared saw a shadow under a palm tree watching them. He looked closely and saw that it was the guy from yesterday, fully dressed, just watching the sea and them. Jared took few steps towards the guy, but as soon as the guy saw Jared was coming in his direction he started to walk away.

“Wait… Jensen?” Jared called after him.

The guy stopped in his tracks for a second and looked back at Jared, clearly taken back, _so he was Jensen after all_ , Jared thought. But he started walking again, a little faster, and before Jared could reach him he was in his car and driving away.

“Who was that?” Katie asked him from behind.

“A man I think might be called Jensen!” Jared told her.

“O..kay... and Jensen is?” Katie asked him expectantly.

Jared wasn’t sure how much of the story he was supposed to know, or indeed allowed to tell Katie. So he just briefly explained that he was a guy who was new in town, and that his uncle had asked Jared to show him around the city, but apparently the guy was too shy.

Katie smirked at Jared and asked, “is your uncle trying to hook you up, JP?”

“What??? No, no, no!” Jared answered fast. It wasn’t that his sexuality was a secret or anything, no he was out and proud, and all his friends and family also knew that he preferred men, but this situation wasn’t about that at all. And the last thing he - and more importantly Jensen - needed was to be gossip of the town. Jared figured Jensen probably had a lot on his plate right now, and Jared didn’t even know if the guy was gay. So Jared didn’t want anything or anyone cause more problems to the man, who already had so many problems of his own. He didn’t know why, but Jared already felt very protective of Jensen, and he hadn’t even met him, well, at least not properly.

“Okay, Jay bird! Calm down! Just kidding! After all Jeff has a very fantastic record in match making in this town! Thought this was one of his cunning plans, too! Good luck on teaching the new kid the ropes around here. You should definitely introduce him to us when he gets past that shyness,” Katie told him as they walked back to the lockers where they’d stashed their clothes.  
Jared was back on track. “Oh yeah, sure! I’m trying to show him around town, not making him run away from the crazy,” he joked, which made Katie stick her tongue out at him.

Chuckling, Jared muttered, _“you’re such a child!”_ under his breath. When they reached the lockers, Katie went away to change her clothes, but Jared couldn’t keep something that she’d said out of his mind, Jeff’s match making skills sure were pretty famous around Green Bay. Almost all the couples that he had introduced were married or engaged. And he had his own unique ways in bringing people close to each other, but this… this wasn’t like that, _or was it?_ Jared’s mind added, unhelpfully.  
XXXXX  
Monday came, and Jared went to work as usual, but he wasn’t concentrating as well as he usually did. His mind was occupied with Jensen. He had few classes that day, but he was determined to check on Jensen no matter what.

He spent most of the day looking at his watch and dialing the number Jeff gave him, but each time he had no luck. Jensen never answered.

In the afternoon Jared had a class with children 5 to 7 years old. If he was being honest, even though it was challenging that class was his favorite. He loved the world these kids had. Some of them remind him of his younger self and his love to learn and ride on the waves. Of course they all had a long way to go right now, and at the moment Jared was teaching them on the surfing simulator.

He was so deep in talking and laughing with the kids, correcting their positions and making sure that none of them broke a leg or hand, that he almost missed the shadow behind the palm tree watching them. **Almost**.

Just when Jared was teaching Mike how to keep his balance on the surfboard he heard a pained groan followed by a loud thud coming from behind the tree, indicating that someone had fallen down. Jared told Katie to keep an eye on the kids, and he ran towards the tree.

When he got there, he found a few people around a guy, asking him if he was okay. Moving closer, he saw the man on the floor was the guy from yesterday - and day before that. The guy who probably was Jensen.

As Jared looked at his face, checking for any injuries, he suddenly was struck by how beautiful the guy was, not just handsome, ‘cause let’s face it, he was handsome too with the green Henley and blue worn out jeans he had on. Maybe he was a little over-dressed for the beach, but the outfit was gorgeous on him. However, his face was beautiful. Beautiful blond hair with plush full lips and freckles all over his face made him gorgeous, even though he looked a little pale.

"Jensen?” Jared called quietly to the guy. He saw eyelids flutter, and the man, Jensen, slowly opened his eyes… _Damn his eyes are green_ , Jared thought. He had deep green eyes with long eyelashes that honestly made his face even more beautiful now that they were open.

"Um… what…what happened?” Jensen asked .

That brought Jared out of his haze. He was supposed to help the guy for crying out loud not to lust after him.  
“We were playing volleyball over there. Sorry, man, it was just an accident,” a boy said from behind and that made Jared leap into motion.

"Okay, tell me do you have concussion, dizziness anything?” Jared asked him.

Jensen looked at him then, and it seemed as if he did remember him, ‘cause his face looked shocked, but he gained control soon enough and just answered with a simple “No!” His face blank.

Jared was determined to not let him go easily this time, so he told him, “Lets get you to the office so Tom and Mike, the life guards can take a look at you.”

When Jared held his hand out for Jensen to help him get up, he pushed Jared’s hand away and said, “I’m fine!”

_Okay so he isn’t the friendliest of people_ , Jared thought but then again he remembered what Jeff told him about Jensen, and thought maybe all the people around were bothering him, so he slowly stood up, looked at the crowd and said, “Okay, guys, you heard the man. You can all get back to having fun.” With that the audience around them slowly started to scatter away.

Jared heard a groan from behind him, and when he turned around he saw Jensen was trying to get up from where he was sprawled on the ground. But when he finally got to his feet, suddenly his legs gave away. Thankfully Jared was right there to hold him up.

“okay, definitely not fine!” Jared said under his breath while he supported Jensen’s weight. When Jensen brought his head up to protest, he was lost for words at how close they were.

Jared could feel Jensen’s breathing on his skin, and those green orbs gazing at him, and those lips, those pink lips were just few inches away… Jared could just…

But Katie clearing her throat brought them out of that bubble. Jared looked sheepishly at her and said, “Katie I’m gonna take Jensen here to office the so that Tom can check him out. Can you please handle the rest of my class?”

Katie gave him a knowing look and said, “Already on it, JP! You just go…um..go be a hero!” she winked at him.

Jared hoped Jensen didn’t see Katie’s wink because the last thing he needed right then was Jensen thinking he just wanted to get into his pants.

He slowly helped Jensen get to the office. It seemed that after almost falling over again all of Jensen’s resistance was gone.

With Jensen’s arm around his neck, and their bodies mostly pressed together, Jared could feel all the heat radiating from Jensen’s body, but each time that he glanced his way, Jared saw that Jensen’s head was down, and he looked deep in thought, making Jared think that getting close to him was going to be so much harder than, _“hey you just fell down, and this crazy! But here is my number so call me maybe.”_

They finally got to the office, and Jared opened the door for them. As soon as they were inside, Tom was on his feet and asking questions while assessing Jensen, “Okay what happened?”

When Jensen made no attempt to answer, Jared filled in for him, “A volleyball hit his head! It’s probably nothing, but when he stood up he was wobbly on his legs, so I thought better safe than sorry.”

“You’re right, Jared! Why don’t you help…?” Tom paused, but this time before Jared can answer Jensen chimed in himself, “It’s Jensen!”

“Right Jensen, so Jared why don’t you help Jensen sit on the bed, and we can see what’s going on?” Tom said, pointing to the hospital bed in the corner of the office for these kinds of emergencies.

As Jared was helping Jensen onto the bed, he heard him saying, “I hate these things.” But before Jared could ask him what that meant, Tom was behind them. Jared slowly stepped back and watched Tom ask Jensen questions and check him over, but it seemed like Jensen was just answering those questions on autopilot, his mind was elsewhere, and judging by the expression on his face probably not a very good place. Jared didn’t know why, but he felt a deep kind of connection towards the guy, wanting to protect him from anything and anyone, past or present that wanted to hurt him.

Soon Tom’s check up was over, “Everything looks fine, Jensen! Although going with the bruise that is forming on your head already I can say it was a nasty hit and, your initial concussion is normal, but it’s nothing that resting for a day and a painkiller wont help!” Tom told Jensen.

“I told him it was nothing. I’ve had worse!” Jensen told Tom, pointing a finger at Jared.

“Still, I’m happy he did. As Jared said, better safe than sorry! If the pain and dizziness haven’t gone away by tomorrow, you’d better pay a visit to the ER…”

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary!” Jensen cut him off, his voice a little higher than it should be, surprising both Jared and Tom with his reaction.

If Jared were in a cartoon he would probably have had a light bulb glowing above his head now with Jensen’s comments earlier about the bed and having worse, and now his reaction. Before Tom could say anything else Jared hopped in and said, “It’s okay Tom! I’ll promise if things don’t get better I’ll take Jensen to the ER myself!”

Both Tom and Jensen raised their eyebrows in shock, but Jared could see other things on Jensen’s face as well besides shock. He was confused too and probably a little mad, which Jared totally understood, but he still wasn’t going to let Jensen slip away.

Jared looked at Tom and said, “Will you give us a moment?”

Tom nodded his head and said, “sure, Jay, I…um… I was going to search for Mike anyway. It’s almost dark now, and our shift is over, so see ya tomorrow I guess, Jared!” Tom said the last part with a look that said “you better tell me all about this tomorrow.”

Jared sighed and watched Tom leave the office. When he turned to Jensen, he saw that the man was looking expectantly at him, but before Jared could say anything it was Jensen who broke the silence.

“How do you know me?” Jensen asked him, which, okay, fair enough, they hadn’t been properly introduced to each other, at least not from Jensen’s point of view. He probably knew much more about Jensen than Jensen knew about him, and it was time to make it right.

“Okay, fair question! I know you because of my uncle!” Jensen looked even more confused so Jared continued, “My uncle, Jeff, he is the guy that showed you to your apartment, your aunt’s old friend. My name is Jared Padalecki by the way.”

“Yeah… Jeff mentioned you a few times in the conversation… still that doesn’t answer my question!” Jensen told him while crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

“Yeah right… well, yesterday my uncle came to my house and told me since we were same age and all that to show you around town. He guessed you probably were bored by all his old man talk and decided not to socialize with him again.” Jared tried joking to lighten the mood while stating the issue that they were facing.

Jensen looked a little sheepish at first, but suddenly it looked like something went off in his head, and he took few steps forward, saying, “ So what? He decided to hire a baby sitter for me? I knew when Sam told me she had an old friend here it was a bad idea to move. I should’ve listened to my gut. Look, why don’t you people get it? When someone doesn’t answer you, stop calling him, and just let him be! I’m so sick and tired of everyone babying me. So let me get this straight. Thank you and your uncle for all the trouble, but I’m fine, and I don’t need help, or someone watching over me, capice?”

Jared looked at Jensen with shock. It seemed like the man was letting out all his frustration over the past few months. But even with Jensen’s long speech, Jared couldn’t bring himself to let go, so he composed himself and said, “Well that’s good Jensen, ‘cause you know what I do enough baby sitting during my work hours. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love teaching kids and spending time with them, but sometimes I long for an adult conversation, and to be honest none of my friends are into adult conversations, they are all idiots! You probably will see them soon enough and will understand what I mean. So when Jeff told me to show you around I was game ‘cause if I’m being honest I could really use a mature and sophisticated friend whose thoughts don’t just involve booze or girls, or girls with booze… and yeah I’m not kidding, that’s very much definition of Chad!” Jared finished with a chuckle.

Jensen looked at him with shock, totally not expecting Jared’s speech after his somewhat rude comments. He looked him up and down. If it had been a few months, ago he would’ve probably been asking Jared out on a date by then, ‘cause why not? The man was gorgeous, Jensen thought. All muscles and curves on the right places. His body built and tan from the sun and being a professional surfer. His eyes were …well Jensen couldn’t point out exactly what color they were, it was like they changed color with Jared’s moods but they were mesmerizing and those cute dimples that made his smiles hundred times more beautiful but that… that was past Jensen. This …this new Jensen didn’t have time for dates more importantly he didn’t deserve it. No, he should’ve been dead back in the sea. Now he just brings sadness and despair any where that he goes. No Jared definitely deserved much more than him.

Jensen wanted to reject him then and there but when he looked up those ever changing eyes he couldn’t bring himself to do it, to be rude or cruel or mean to him just to let Jensen go. This was his memo these days, it should’ve been easy, he did it hundred times even with his old friends and family, people whom he knew for years. But for some reason he couldn’t do it now. So he looked into Jared’s eyes and said, “You wont want me as my friend, believe me!”

Jared could see the turmoil in Jensen’s body, the struggle. Honestly he’d expected Jensen to down right reject him, but when he didn’t, a new hope developed in Jared. So he smiled at Jensen and took a step forward, leaving just few inches between them. “Why don’t you let me find that out myself huh? Besides I have pretty low standards in friends as I said before. You’ll find that out soon enough” Jared winked at Jensen.

Jared’s comment made Jensen snort, _this guy is something alright,_ Jensen thought. But before Jensen’s thoughts could get any deeper Jared held both of his shoulders and said, “I know life can be hard sometimes, Jensen, and I know that there was probably a very huge reason behind this sudden move of yours, but something I learned… some times you need a friend in your life. Let me be that friend!” Jared asked him with so much sincerity that it looked like Jensen was finding it pretty hard to reject him. Plus he knew that his words were all true. Jared could see tears welling up in Jensen’s eyes, and as he turned away to prevent him from seeing, he slowly muttered under his breath, “Yeah, okay!”.

Jared smiled at him then, like Jensen just gave him the moon and stars, flashing those full dimples, and suddenly Jensen felt maybe his life wasn’t going to stay sad after all. He couldn’t stop the smile he gave Jared in return.


	2. Our (maybe) first date

  
Jensen couldn’t believe he’d actually accepted it. He’d agreed not only to be friends with Jared but also to go out with him today. He didn’t do that anymore, he didn’t do friends, he didn’t do sight seeing, he didn’t do anything. But something in Jared’s eyes, in his voice, hadn’t allowed Jensen to downright reject him as he usually did with others, so here he was now, on a Tuesday afternoon, deciding on what to wear.

Jensen had already tried few different outfits, and none of them really appealed to him. _This is not a date,_ a voice in Jensen’s mind reminded him, and the thing is, he knew that. He just wanted to look good next to Jared who basically looked like a Greek god walking on earth. Lately Jensen had been self conscious about his body and appearance, so he had become super picky about what to wear.

He finally decided on his green Henley with Khaki pants. He checked himself once more in the mirror, and as he was looking at himself one last time to see that everything was okay, the door bell rang.

Suddenly Jensen wasn’t sure of anything anymore, it was like the door bell brought all of his insecurities, and the anxiety that he tried so hard to suppress, to the surface. He was fixed where he stood looking at the door, while his mind screamed all of his fears at him. The doorbell rang again, and this time it got Jensen on the move. The outing hadn’t started yet, and he was exhausted already, at least mentally. For an single moment Jensen thought of calling it off and telling Jared that he had a headache or something, but then, finally, he opened the door.

On the doorstep, Jared was standing, looking smoking hot in a blue button up shirt and and apair of jeans, with his dimpled smile, and Jensen for the life of him couldn’t remember why he wanted to cancel their plans.

"I was becoming worried that you wouldn’t open the door and well… were going to stand me up.” Jared told him with a chuckle.

"It’s not a date.” _Seriously that’s all you can say?_ Jensen’s mind chastised him. He sounded kind of rude, and he really didn’t want to be. But it seemed like when you act in a certain way for months, it’s hard to let it go, even when you want to.

Jared looked a little taken back, but he composed himself and smiled again, “Yeah it’s not a **Date** date, but it’s still our first friendly date, so yeah you could’ve stood me up, but you didn’t… thank you!”

Now it was time for Jensen to be taken a back by Jared’s kindness and the sincerity in his voice. He rubbed his neck and looked up into Jared’s eyes, “I… um yeah, it’s... it’s good that you came too you know… um… so many people wouldn’t bother… I mean.. it’s good to see you too… damn it’s been too long since I did this!” Jensen finally finished with a sigh and covered his face with both hands, not wanting Jared to see his embarrassment.

“Hey its okay, I’m rusty too you know, it’s been a while since I made new friends too,” Jared smiled at him sweetly.

Jensen wanted to yell, that’s not all this is. He wanted to tell Jared that he hadn’t had any human interaction for a long while, no friends outings, no family gatherings, no nothing, but he didn’t. He figured if Jared stayed long enough, he probably would understand what a loser he was. So he asked Jared if he wanted to come in instead.

"As much as I love to, we’re gonna be late for what I had planned for us tonight, maybe next time though. Pizza and beer on me! Now are you ready to go?” Jared asked him with so much excitement that it reminded Jensen of an excited 5 year old. He couldn’t help it. It was like the excitement was contagious, and Jensen found himself smiling back at Jared and following after him into the hallway. He tried to ignore the warm feeling in his gut from the promise of hanging out with Jared again while he locked the door.  
XXXXX  
They were in Jared’s car, driving into the night. “Where are we going?” Jensen asked Jared.

"Well I thought so much about where to show you first but honestly it was too hard . I mean I started coming here when I was in elementary school, and I started living here when I was 18! So yeah basically all parts of the city are my faves, but then I thought since this is our first time out in the city it’s most important for you to know the best places to eat! So we are going to my favorite restaurant, and I hope you do like fast food,” Jared finished with a smile and then looked at Jensen nervously.

Jensen decided to keep the point that he’d been eating fast food for as long as he could remember, to himself and not ruin Jared’s moment. “Hey as long as there is a burger it’s fine with me.” Jensen said.

"Oh you are so gonna love their burgers. They have this huge juicy thing called _**Elvis**_ , I’ll kill for that in a heart beat.” Jared joked.

Jensen looked at Jared with aw. How can this guy even be this excited about a burger? Jensen thought. He was everything that Jensen wasn’t, enthusiastic, optimistic, and full of life, things that Jensen lacked seriously these days.

His silence must have been longer than he thought, ‘cause Jared looked at him and said, “What?”

"What, what?” Jensen asked back.

"That look! Why are looking at me like that?” Jared asked with a chuckle.

“Nothing… it’s just… it’s good that you have this vibe you know… like the way you are excited for everything, excited about life…I… I used to be like that.” Jensen said, looking out of the window.

Jared didn’t know what to say to that. Jensen seemed lost in past memories, and Jared’s heart once again broke for the man next to him, and the tragedy he went through. He cleared his throat and said, “Well that is me, Mr. All cupcakes and rainbows. Chad says he does idiotic stuff sometimes just to bum me out and see if I finally snap at him, but I think he is just trying to justify his stupidity.” Jared chuckled.

“Well… for what it’s worth I hope you never change!” Jensen said quietly.

“Thanks” Jared wanted to say more, to comfort Jensen and bring him out of his thoughts, but he found himself unable to say anything. He needed to know more about Jensen’s past to be able to say what Jensen needed to hear. But now wasn’t the time. He needed to get closer to Jensen, and tonight was just about them bonding together, _as friends_ , Jared reminded himself.

Soon Jared saw the restaurant’s sign and looked at Jensen, “Here we are!” he said happily

“Glad to hear that. I’m kind of starving.” Jensen smiled back at him.

As soon as they got into the restaurant, a petite woman squealed, “JARED” and started running towards them.

“Sandy” Jensen heard Jared say, and then Jared’s arms were full of the young woman. Jensen didn’t know why, but he felt something tugging down his gut; something very much like jealousy. _Woah were did that come from?_ Jensen thought. He wasn’t in any position to be jealous. He was barely Jared’s friend, so he didn’t have any right to be jealous of anything.

Jensen was startled when Jared put a hand on his shoulder, he was so deep in his own thoughts. “Hey! You okay, man?” Jared asked.

“Yeah, yeah!” Jensen said hastily. He saw Jared looking at him with concern, and the woman, Sandy, looked at both of them with confusion.

“Where are my manners?” Jared chuckled and introduced them. “Jensen, this is Sandy, one of my oldest friends. Sandy, this is Jensen. my new friend and also new to town.”

Jensen held out his hand and said, “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Jensen. So, given that you are now Jared’s friend we sure gonna see you around. Are you coming to Chad’s birthday party too?” Sandy asked him.

Jensen wanted to open his mouth to say, no he won’t be anywhere, but Jared beat him to it, “You bet your ass he will, I’ll pick him up myself and we’ll come together.”

Jensen looked at Jared with his mouth shaped in an O. He wanted to yell, to scream, to tell Jared he didn’t want to go to any parties, in fact he didn’t want to go anywhere near people, but when he saw Jared’s dimpled smile, and the light in his eyes again that invisible force rendered him speechless.

“Okay Sands, now since we are both starving, would you mind bringing us the menus?” Jared asked her. He was heading to a corner booth as he spoke, while pushing Jensen in the same direction.

“Oh damn! Where are my manners? Two menus coming right up, sir!” Sandy winked at them and went to grab the menus.

Once they were both seated in the booth, Jensen leaned in and asked, “What are you doing?”

Jared looked confused for a second till he understood what Jensen was referring to. “Um... yeah, sorry to jump in like that, but now that we are… um… friends, there is no way I’m letting you spend Saturday night alone anymore. And even if I did, now that Sandy has seen you she will tell everyone all about you, and then Chris and Chad will be at your door every minute… so really there is no way out of it.” Jared said, rubbing back of his neck like a nervous five year old.

Jensen wanted to be mad with Jared, and all these people that were presumably going to interfere with his life and probably bug him till he did as they wanted. he wanted to be angry, but for some reason looking at Jared’s cute face in front of him he couldn’t. He was starting to wonder if his aunt knew about Jared and his puppy eyes power when she suggested he moved to Green Bay.

He wanted to say something when Sandy suddenly showed up, “Okay guys here are your menus, let me know when you decide.” She smiled at them and sauntered off again.

Jensen looked at Jared and noticed that he was still looking at him expectantly, obviously not knowing where they stood. So Jensen decided to change the subject for now. Whether he goes to the party or not, if he wants to spend time with Chad or Chris or whom ever else Jared calls friends, all of those things were his issues to deal with. For now he wanted to just enjoy a night with Jared, to pretend for only one night that everything was okay, to pretend that he wasn’t going to wake up screaming in few hours with all the nightmares he had. So he changed the subject. “Okay then, pretty boy, tell me what you recommend, since you’re an expert here.”

Jared didn’t know what made him happier, the fact that Jensen called him pretty or the lack of argument for Chad’s party. Whatever it was, Jared called it a win and decided to go with Jensen’s flow.

After they bickered a little about the menu and what to eat, they placed their orders and started a conversation about their favorite teams and music. They soon found out they had a lot in common, so the conversation flowed easily between them.

Jared couldn’t help but notice that Jensen was actively avoiding talking about his family, and Jared thought that it probably had something to do with the tragedy Jeff mentioned.

When Sandy brought their food, the boys started eating in a comfortable silence. As Jared almost finished his salad, he decided to ask about Jensen’s job since it hadn’t come up in the previous conversation, and he thought that way they could dodge the whole family tragedy.

“So what do you do for a living, Jensen?” Jared asked.

Jensen tensed for a second and started playing with his own salad. “I… um… nothing at the moment.”

“Oh yeah? So are you like in between jobs, or just looking for a new job here? ’Cause, you know, Jeff, my uncle, knows like everybody in this town. I’m sure he can help you!” Jared said.

“it’s not… can we drop this subject, please?” Jensen said, louder than he anticipated. A few people in closer booths turned to look at them, which made both of the men to turn red.

Jensen finally looked Jared in the eye. “I’m sorry I snapped, it’s just… can we not talk about this?” Jensen pleaded.

Jared was shocked by Jensen’s reaction to a simple question, but then he saw the deep sadness behind those green eyes and knew there was more to it. Hopefully he’d find out more about it as they got closer. it was just another question from the thousands about this mystery being, Jensen Ackles.

“Sure, man, sorry I brought it up!” Jared said sincerely.

“No it’s okay… it’s me you know, all my issues… all me. I’m just not comfortable talking about it.” Jensen said quietly.

Jared reached out his hand and put it on top of Jensen’s, surprising Jensen and making him raise his eyes to look at his face, “Maybe, you’ll tell me later, you know. When you are a hundred percent sure that I’m just here to be your friend, no judgment, just here to listen.” Jared smiled at him.

Jensen didn’t know what to say to that, it’s been so long since he had talked with anyone. And so far he hadn’t talked about the incident to anyone at all. But something in Jared’s eyes, a deep understanding, told Jensen that things might not stay the same for much longer, that maybe he would be able to finally tear down all those walls he’d built around himself for months. With a lump that quickly forming in his throat, Jensen just looked into Jared’s eyes and said, “yeah, Maybe!”  
XXXXXXX


	3. The fateful party

  
Jared was thrilled with how everything had happened with Jensen. He honestly couldn’t believe how easy Jensen had been. He really thought he would need to take more time convincing him to even spend some time with him, but to his surprise, Jensen, with all his grumpiness and the sad aura that surrounded him, hadn’t completely shut Jared out of his life. He still would get silent sometimes. There were times that Jared could tell he was in his own thoughts which probably weren’t so happy, and some days that Jensen simply needed to be alone, but they had worked their way through that. Jared could understand with the tragedy that had happened to him in the past he needed time. After all it was big enough to make him move and start a new life. But Jared has been understanding, and they were taking each day step by step, from that night in the restaurant, then their own night at Jensen’s house with just beer and pizza. Another day Jared took Jensen out for sight seeing, to the park, the museum, the beautiful hills, from the top of which you could see the whole town, but at Jensen’s request they had stayed away from the beach, which was another mystery for Jared. They had also talked over the phone several times, about their favorite shows, the weather, what to do the next day and so on, but still each time they talked Jensen had actively avoided talking about his family, his job or the tragedy that had happened.

Jared hoped one day Jensen would feel safe enough to talk about all those things with Jared too, and he hoped it could be sooner rather than later. His curiosity was killing him. But overall he thought they were doing good. In the week that they had spent together Jared felt closer to Jensen than any other friend he’d ever had, which was odd considering he’d known some of them for years. But there was something between him and Jensen, some force, some magnetic pull that just made them fit. Apparently kids these days called it chemistry. Jared longed to see Jensen every day, he counted hours to be able to call Jensen, and he hoped with all his heart that one day maybe they could be more. Yeah, Jared knew that Jensen wasn’t in a good place right now to start dating, and he had tried so hard not to let his feeling grow for him, but he was failing, miserably.

He could tell Jensen wasn’t doing any better than him, too. He had caught Jensen several times looking at him with something in his eyes that seemed to be more than just friendly. But each time, Jensen had cleared his throat fast and changed the subject awkwardly. It was as if he was scared to show his feelings, scared of what might happen, but Jared had decided to be patient. For Jensen, he had all the time in the world, plus he was also afraid to lose his friendship too. Now even after only a week he couldn’t remember a time where Jensen wasn’t part of his life. So he’d decided he should wait and see what happened.

Chad’s birthday was coming up, and that was another thing Jared was worried about. He had convinced Jensen to go along with him. His method of convincing included lots of begging and pulling as many puppy eyes as he could. In the end Jensen had caved and said he would be there but he’d only stay as long as Jared was going to be there. Jared was overjoyed and over stressed. He really was happy that Jensen was going to be there with him, but at the same time worried that being among new people, his idiot friends no less, might be overwhelming and stressful for Jensen. But a phone call from his uncle had helped calm his nerves a little bit.

 _“So Jay! How’s your new friend doing?”_ Jeff had asked him on the phone.  
_"We’re good, actually things are going better than I thought.”_  
_"Oh you bet your ass they are. I got a call from a screaming Sam last night, telling me that when she talked with Jensen it was like he was another person all along. That he almost sounded like his old self.”_  
_"That’s… wow that’s awsome, Jeff!”_  
_"I would say, so she thanked you like **a lot**. And said to keep doing what ever that you’re doing.”_  
_"Will do, Jeff… will do!”_

So yeah, now Jared was more than pleased with how things were going with Jensen, but then again he didn’t know why the butterflies in his stomach wouldn’t go away.  
XXXXXX  
Finally it was the day, Jared was supposed to pick up Jensen and then both of them head out to Chad’s house. When he got to Jensen’s apartment he rang. Jensen answered, “I’ll be right there.” So Jared waited next to his truck.

After a few minutes the door opened and Jensen stepped out. Jared’s breath hitched when he saw Jensen, he was wearing a red and black plaid shirt with black Jeans. His hair sparkled under the sun and his skin was glowing. Jared thought he never saw anyone more beautiful.

“What? Is something wrong with my clothes?” Jensen’s question brought Jared out of his haze. He must have been staring for quite some time, and he needed to say something.

“Oh no.. not at all, actually totally the opposite. You look perfect!” Jared told him with a smile, and when Jensen blushed his smile grew even wider.

“Okay are we done being chicks now so we can get this party over with?” Jensen said, clearing his throat.

“Yeah sure. Lets get going. If we get there late, Chris might finish all the beers.”

They both got into the car and Jared started driving. After few minutes of silence Jensen asked, “Are you sure it’s okay for me to come? I mean were they okay with me being there?” he sounded nervous.

“Jensen they are thrilled that you are coming, honestly! Dude I’ve talked about you so much that they think you’re my imaginary friend. If some of them hadn’t actually met you, Chad and Chris would’ve convinced everyone to take me to a psychiatrist, ‘cause in their words, _No one is that awsome,”_ Jared chuckled.

“Um .. okay… if you say so!” Jensen said, but Jared could see at a glance that Jensen was blushing again with a small smile on his face.

Jensen didn’t believe that Jared, his hot friend, had actually talked about him so much that his other friends were annoyed by it. He couldn’t stop the smile on his face even though he wanted to. His feeling had gone way overboard for Jared. These days all he could think of was, what would it feel like if he kissed Jared. These thoughts were usually followed by a wave of guilt, ‘cause he didn’t deserve Jared, or the happiness he brought him. He didn’t deserve anything good, so he decided that, no matter how hard it would be, he wasn’t going to say anything to Jared, even though he could tell Jared had also more than friendly feelings for him. The way Jared had looked at him tonight when he came out the house was a proof of that. But no, Jensen wasn’t going to act on those feeling ‘cause he thought didn’t deserve them.

Jensen was lost in his thoughts when Jared declared that they had arrived. _“Here we go,”_ Jensen thought. He just hoped the party was going to go smoothly ‘cause it had been so long since he had done anything remotely close to this.

As if Jared was reading his thoughts Jared held his hand and said, “It’s gonna be fine”

Jensen wanted to say something, but before he had a chance the door opened and someone yelled, “J.T” and launched himself into Jared’s arms, breaking Jared’s hold on his hand.

“Chad! Hey man, happy birthday.” Jared said. He looked around and saw Jensen was standing back, bewildered and feeling out of place. So he broke his hug with Chad and stepped back to stand next to Jensen. “Chad, this is Jensen. Jensen, this is Chad, the idiot whose birthday is today.”

“Nice to meet you, Chad, and happy birthday,” Jensen said, extending his hand to shake Chad’s. He was surprised when he found himself with an arm full of Chad.

“Oh wow, man, good to see you! Gotta say JT talked about you so much that we thought you were his imaginary friend. It’s good that we can finally put a face to all those stories he told us.” Chad said.

“Okay, okay, Chad, let the poor man go before you kill him.” Jared said, trying to peel Chad away from Jensen as he sensed how stiff and shocked he was.

“Where are my manners? Come in, you guys. Every one is dying to meet you.” Chad said, stepping away to let them in.

After a round of introductions, and everyone trying to meet Jensen, Jared could tell that the man was little overwhelmed. So he softly whispered to Jensen, “You wanna get a beer outside?”

“Yes please!” Jensen told him.

So while everyone went back to drinking and telling embarrassing stories about Chad, Jared quietly slipped Jensen out of the house and into the yard. When they got outside Jensen took a big breath and let it out with a sigh.

“I know they can be a bit much, but when you get to know them they are nice people, I swear.” Jared said, leading them both to the small table and chairs on the patio.

“Oh no, I know that. They’re… they’re really nice, and it shows how close you guys are, and I can tell they are really protective of you, too. It’s not… it’s not them, its just that it’s been so long since I’ve been to a place with more than three people tops!” Jensen said as he took a sip from his beer.

“I know, but it’s always good to start from somewhere you know…” Jared said while he put his arm around Jensen’s neck. “And they are not protective of me… they are just jealous I have a hot friend.”

“Oh they are… Chris almost gave me the _hurt my friend and I’ll hurt you talk._ I’m pretty sure it was gonna happen if you had told them we were dating” Jensen said with a chuckle.

“Yeah saving your pretty ass is the only reason why I didn’t tell them we were dating.” Jared said with a chuckle. But when he saw Jensen looking at him with a shocked face it sank in what he had just said.

"Um …I mean… I…” but he was saved when Chris came out, shouting, “Get in losers. the food is here.”

“We should head in” Jared said quietly. He slowly stood up and reached his hand for Jensen, “shall we?” he asked him.

Jensen hesitated for a bit, after what Jared had said he didn’t know how to respond. That was the first time either of them had said anything remotely close to the feelings they had for each other. He didn’t want to drag Jared into the mess that was his life. But when he saw Jared’s hopeful eyes he took the extended hand in his and said, “Yeah, lets go”  
XXXXXXX

They had wonderful time over dinner, between Chad’s stupid stories, and Tom and Mike bickering like the old married couple that they were, everyone laughed and enjoyed each other’s company.

Even Jensen had to admit he was having fun. He might blame it later on the three beers he had that made him lose enough inhibitions to just let go of all the issues he had. But he was so happy that he agreed to go with Jared, his friends were good people. Sure a little crazy, but good and caring people, and Jensen could tell they were close with each other too. But to top it all Jensen was just glad he could spend more time with Jared. They were sitting super close on the coach so that their knees bumped into each other, but seemed like neither of them really cared, so Jensen just enjoyed the feeling.

Everything was going well, untill something unexpected happened. The door bell rang, and Chad went to open the door. That’s when Jensen heard a child yelling, “UNCLE CHAD.”

Jared felt Jensen tense up next to him as soon as he heard Chad’s nephew. He didn’t know what the reason was, but he was instantly worried about him.

“Oh Chad, I see you’ve got your birthday covered, loser, and here I was thinking you need your big brother to help you celebrate!” Chad’s brother said.

Everyone stood up and greeted him, but Jensen was fixed on the sight of Chad wrestling with his nephew. He was brought back to reality when Jared shook his shoulder. When Jensen looked up, he saw Jared’s concerned face asking him if he was okay.

Jensen nodded dumbly and slowly stood up, offering his hand to the guy, vibrating. He felt Jared’s hand on his back but he doubted that would even help this time. The guy took his hand and said, “Brandon, Chad’s big brother. I don’t think we’ve met before.”

All Jensen could do was offer his name, and that was it. When it became clear that Jensen wasn’t going to say anything more, Jared said, “Jensen here is new in town, Barry! I just brought him over to meet these lunatics.” Jared joked, hoping it would help lighten the mood.

"It’s funny that you don’t think you are one of these lunatics, Jared.” Brandon smirked, then said to Jensen, “Well, my condolences, dude. I’m sure you gonna regret this soon.” He laughed at his own joke, while everyone else in the room started protesting. But Jensen couldn’t hear any of that. The only thing he heard was the ringing in his ears.

All of these things felt painfully familiar. They were the reason Jensen had moved in the first place. He could feel Jared’s worried eyes on him, but right then he couldn’t do anything, he was so lost in his own thoughts.  
Chad was standing next to him and Jared with his nephew, Rex. “Uncle Jared? Do you have any of your candies?” the boy asked Jared.

Jared knelt down to Rex’s, level and said, “Sorry buddy, I gave all the candies to your uncle’s sorry ass, but I didn’t know you were coming! So how about this, next time that we meet, I’m gonna give you double candies.”

Rex gave a squeal which made Brandon groan and say, “Don’t do this to us, man! Last time you gave him those freaking candies, Sharon and I were up all night.”

As Jared wanted to answer he felt Jensen vibrating hard next to him. When he looked up he saw Jensen was turning paler and paler, and it was like he was struggling to breathe.

"JENSEN? JENSEN YOU OKAY?” Jared asked loudly, holding Jensen’s face in his hands, making everyone to look at them with concern.

"Can’t… bre…breathe” Jensen said, between harsh breaths.

Before Jared could do anything more, the EMT in both Mike and Tom went to work. Mike took hold of Jensen’s hand and took his pulse. “He’s having a panic attack Jared!” Mike said, “We need to get him to calm down!”

Jared was freaking out. “I don’t know what to do, help him please!” he pleaded with Tom and Mike.

"We need to get him outside and get him to breath calmly. Jensen, Jensen can you hear me?” Tom said. When Jensen nodded slowly, Tom placed his hand on Jensen’s stomach.“ I want you to breathe deeply for me, Jensen. Try and push my hand off your stomach. Okay on my count.” After few failed attempts Jensen’s breath finally started to even out, but he was still shaking pretty badly.

"Jared, man, help Jensen out to the patio! A little bit of fresh air would help.” Mike said slowly.

"Jensen, come on, dude. We are gonna get some fresh air. Can you walk?” Jared asked, placing his arm around Jensen’s back.

Jensen seemed out of it for few seconds, “No,” he said very quietly at last. Jared was pretty sure he was the only one who heard it.

"Okay then.” Jared slowly put his hand under Jensen’s knees and with a swift move he lifted him up. Jensen felt so pliant in his hold, and it broke his heart to see Jensen in such a state, he didn’t even put up a fight, and Jared knew that Jensen would definitely have had some snarky comments for him if he was his usual self.

Jared tried not to get lost in his own thoughts then, knowing that he should concentrate on Jensen, to try and help him. It felt like an hour before they got to the back yard. He slowly sat Jensen on the chair there. Jared couldn’t help it, but he didn’t want to let go of Jensen just yet. However with Jensen being on the chair it was getting hard to keep his hold on him, so instead Jared knelt in front of Jensen and put his hands on Jensen’s knees.

Jensen kept stealing his eyes away from Jared’s and kept looking down. Jared was about to ask something when the back door opened, and Mike came out, holding a glass of water and a blanket in his hand.

"Here thought you guys might need this!” Mike said, and when it was obvious that Jensen wasn’t going to get the items from him, Jared stood up and took the blanket and water from Mike.

"Thanks Mike.” Jared said.

"No problem pal, holler if you guys need anything okay?” When Jared nodded, Mike left, and the two of them were alone again.

As Mike left, Jared felt the breeze on his skin that was making Jensen shiver slightly. So Jared put the glass of water on the table and wrapped the blanket around Jensen. Jensen whispered “thanks,” and it was the first time that he had spoken since this whole fiasco started. He sounded broken and helpless, and it broke Jared’s heart once again. He wanted to reach out and wipe all the sadness away from the young man who seemed so smaller in front of him now, but he knew he couldn’t. So instead he just got back into his earlier position in front of Jensen and started massaging his knees very slowly.

A few minutes passed away in silence. The only sounds were the waves crashing to the shore. Jared knew that whatever had happened before, this was probably the moment he was going to find out, but he also knew that Jensen was the one who needed to set the ball rolling, so he had to wait. For Jensen he had all the time in the world.

After few more seconds, Jensen took a deep breath and said, “Sorry for ruining the night.”

"You didn’t ruin anything, Jensen. I’m sorry that I insisted on bringing you over, I shouldn’t have pushed.” Jared said feeling guilty for putting Jensen in a situation that had caused all this.

"It wasn’t that… it’s… look it was actually really good to meet people, to feel surrounded by friends. That wasn’t a problem really, so please don’t blame yourself for my problems. That… that was all me, all my fault okay?” Jensen pleaded with Jared. He didn’t like Jared blaming himself.

"Then what happened, Jen? There must have been something. God you were so pale. When I turned back and saw you panting… God it was so scary. I didn’t know what to do, i couldn’t help you… I …” Jensen shushed Jared with putting his finger on his lips. He tried really hard not to shiver as Jared casually used a nickname to call him, and he hated that he had put Jared in this position.

"Ssh, shh, Jay, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that I put you through that. I… it’s been so damn long that I thought I could do it, that I could get back to the world. When I saw you I thought I could have a new friend, a new life… maybe even more!” Jensen said slowly, and when he saw Jared’s eyes sparkle with hope he continued, “but tonight… I guess there is no way for me to get away from all the shit that happened. I’m far too scarred and broken to be fixed.” Jensen felt tears starting to trail down his cheeks, but he was too tired to be able to stop them.

When Jared saw Jensen start crying and become a babbling mess, he couldn’t help it anymore. He leaned forward and hugged Jensen to his chest as best as he could. When Jensen also leaned into him, Jared tried hard not to flip with joy especially since Jensen had finally admitted that they could be more, but he knew they still had a long way to go.

"You are not broken, Jensen, you are a strong person, who is going through a tough time. Whatever it is, I know you can make it.” Jared said and patted Jensen’s back. As Jared spoke, he felt Jensen shake his head hard and start to pull away.

"You don’t know anything, Jared… I can’t… I just can’t” Jensen started crying harder.

Jared held Jensen’s face in his and made him look him in the eye, saying, “then tell me, Jensen, let me know. Let me help you.”

Jensen tried to resist the puppy eyes, but once again he failed. Plus he thought it might be better just to tell Jared and be done with everything. The sooner Jared realized what a monster Jensen was, the sooner he could stop wasting his time with Jensen, so Jensen wouldn’t ruin his life too.

“Fine but you need that other chair… it’s kind of a long story.” Jared brought the chair in front of Jensen’s and sat when Jensen told him to do so.

After taking few deep breaths, Jensen started. "Me and my family, we were always so close. I have an older brother and a younger sister, just like you. We did everything together, especially me and my brother; we were inseparable. But as I grew up I found out that I had another love, and that was the sea. Swimming in the salty water, feeling the breeze on your face, the splash of water on your skin. There was nothing like it.” Jared could understand perfectly, that was another thing he and Jensen had in common.

"So when I turned 18 I moved to California, in order to be a pro surfer. I soon became a well known surfer in the California and surrounding areas. I took part in few competitions, but that wasn’t really my thing, so I started teaching what I loved the most, surfing. Along the way I also took other classes like lifeguard and diving, and before I knew it my whole life was circling around the beach. I taught diving and surfing at the weekends, and on the other days I was the lifeguard. I loved every second of it. But then everything changed!” Jensen stopped for a moment, taking a sip from the water and thinking how to continue this story.

"As I said me and my family were close, so every holiday I went back home to visit my family. My brother, my niece… and my nephew. And every Summer they visited me in California to enjoy the beach and let the kids have fun in the sea or learn a thing or two from **Uncle Jensen.** ” Jensen said the last part bitterly, “but last September … we all decided to travel to Malibu, rented a couple of cottages near the sea and have some final fun before the kids started school. It all happened so fast… I…” Jared could see Jensen tearing up again, so he offered the glass to him once more.

"Thanks,” Jensen said quietly and took another sip from his water, “ I… we were all sitting in my parent’s cottage that night after having a barbeque. I had promised my nephew, Zach, to take him to the beach to teach him how to surf. But the weather wasn’t so good that day. So we decided to postpone the lesson. While we were all having coffee after dinner, it started raining outside. That’s when it all happened … my brother’s wife came running after checking on the kids and told us that Zach was missing. We searched the whole house, but he was no where to be seen. Me and my brother ran off to the beach and that’s when we saw him…” Jensen was openly crying by now, and Jared knew what ever had happened that night probably didn’t have a happy ending.

"I ran towards the sea, the waves were crazy that night, and everywhere was pitch black, or at least felt like it. I swam towards him and caught Zach’s body. He was already unconscious. I was going to swim back to the shore, but that’s when I heard Josh, my brother, yelling at us to watch out… When I looked back I saw a huge wave coming, and it crashed into us… pretty much anything after that is a blur to me… we.. I…” Jensen started sobbing hard. Jared couldn’t help his own tears that were falling. He wanted so much to help Jensen, but there was nothing he could do, so once again he just hugged him close to his chest.

“That’s it Jen, let it out” Jared whispered slowly.

“i… I couldn’t help him, Jay… he … he died, and I couldn’t save him…” Jensen sobbed harder and started shaking in Jared’s hold.  
Jared couldn’t even imagine the pain that Jensen and his family had been through. Now he understood why Jensen sometimes got lost in his thoughts when he talked about his brother, or his students. And to top it all, tonight when Chad’s brother and nephew had arrived, no wonder Jensen reacted that way.

After few seconds of Jared just holding Jensen and murmuring comfort to him, Jensen’s sobs started to calm down. Jared reached for the glass one more time and offered it to Jensen while still holding him in his arms.

Jensen drank the water and once again leaned into Jared. Jared tightened his hold on Jensen, who seemed as if he wasn’t able to even hold up his own weight, offering what comfort he could. He didn’t know who he was comforting more, Jensen or himself. He just needed to feel Jensen. He was thanking anyone up there that even though the loss was huge at least Jensen was here with him now and in his arms, and he was determined to never let go. He needed Jensen to know that nothing that had happened was his fault. He guessed it was going to be a very long process, but it was a path that he was more than willing to take for Jensen.

When Jensen’s breathing evened out again, Jared asked him, “What happened after that, Jensen?”

“I don’t remember much after that. Apparently when the wave crashed into us, it sent me crashing into the dock behind us. I hit my head, and apparently dad and Josh fished us out of the water… I … I was in coma for a month after that because of the hit. They also had to do several surgeries cause the wave had broken my ribs which punctured my lungs as well. And Zach… Zach was gone on his way to hospital… his lungs couldn’t just take it…I … I wasn’t even there for his funeral, Jay! I wasn’t there for Josh. I … it’s all my fault. If I’d only seen that wave. If I’d checked the damn beach…” Jensen was starting to get worked up again. “Now all I have left from that damn vacation is this ugly scar, reminding me how I failed each time I look into a mirror!”

Jared held Jensen’s face between his hands and said, “Hey, hey, hey, Jen, don’t do this to yourself, please. This wasn’t your fault, okay? You did all you could…”

Jensen started shaking his head in denial. “You don’t get it, Jay… they all came to California to meet me. He went out ‘cause of a stupid promise I made him. He is dead ‘cause I was stupid enough to not check my surroundings, because I crashed into that damn dock… I was a fucking lifeguard Jared, and I couldn’t even save my own nephew.” Jensen was half yelling at Jared by the end of it.

“No, Jen, No. They came there because they chose to, because they chose to have a vacation out there with you, and you did all you could do in a moment of panic> Hell! I’m not sure I could do even half of it if I was in your place. Jensen you went into a coma for crying out loud! That’s the most you could do in my book.” Jared held Jensen’s face firmly in his hands giving him no choice but to look into his eyes, “Look Jen, I know this is a very hard thing you’re going through, and I know what I’m saying now is hard to believe, but nothing was your fault, Jen. I’m sure none of your family thinks that way either, for a fact I know that they were worried so much for you that your aunt asked Jeff and I to take care of you. They are worried for you, Jen, this guilt, this self destructive road that you are going down… this won’t bring Zach back… this is just making people lose you too! So, please, please Jen, let us help you. Let me help you. You need to let the guilt go, Jen. You need to start over.”

Jensen looked at him with tears in his eyes. He heard what Jared had said tons of times before, from all of his family, even Josh. But it was so hard to believe any of it, when every night he had a nightmare about the night that it all happened. But when he looked into Jared’s hazel eyes and saw them tearful too, the feel of his hands on his face, he really wanted to let go. Jensen knew he couldn’t leave like that anymore. Today’s panic attack was another sign that he was really messed up, but he was also tired. Too tired to bear this burden alone. So he looked at Jared and said quietly, “I… it’s so hard, Jay… I … I don’t know how to do this”

“ **We’ll do this Jen, together**! If you’ll let me I’ll be with you every step of it.” Jared said hopefully.

“I’m scared, Jay… what if I… what if I ruin your life too?” Jensen asked, avoiding his eyes.

“You didn’t ruin any one’s life, Jen… and I’m gonna prove it to you…”

Jared leaned in slowly and put a chaste kiss on Jensen’s lips. Jensen was shocked when Jared kissed him, not expecting it at all. But when Jared pulled back and looked at him with a soft smile, all Jensen could feel was Jared’s warm lips against his own. He slowly breathed out, “Jay.”

“I want to do this with you, Jensen, and I know it’s gonna be hard, and we may have a whole raft of obstacles on our way, but I for one am so happy that you are here today, that I got to meet you. That you were alive to make me fall for you,” said Jared, holding Jensen’s hands in his. “Please, Jen… please tell me you want this too.” Jared leaned half way towards Jensen’s face but stopped right there. The rest of it was Jensen’s choice.

There was a fight going on inside Jensen’s head, the guilt and depression that had been his burden for past 5 months were in a fight with the hope blooming in his heart. He wanted this, probably more than he ever wanted anything. He thought of Josh, of Zach, and he finally decided what to do.

Jensen leaned the other half of the way and very slowly kissed Jared, not sure if the kiss was welcome or not. As soon as Jared felt Jensen’s lips on his he kissed him back, with all he had, Letting him know that everything was going to be okay without words.

They kissed each other till they had to break apart to catch some air. Jared looked at Jensen and said, “Just so you know, I’m not letting you go home alone tonight…” Jared said with a smile.

“Jared… I…” Jared cut Jensen off. “Nothing will happen, Jen, but after all that happened tonight, I’m not gonna let you go home alone.” Jared kissed Jensen’s cheek when he finished.

“Okay… thanks, Jared, for everything.”

“No thank you, Jensen, for fighting and for giving us a chance.”  
XXXXX


	4. Saving us both

  
Jensen sat on the bench beside the beach, watching Jared teaching kids how to surf. It was a late afternoon, and these two rascals were the last students Jared had for the day. Jensen was there to pick him up so they could get to their favorite restaurant for their date night.

Date night! Jensen still couldn’t believe the events of past months. After that fateful night at Chad’s birthday party everything had changed for him and Jared. That night, when they got to Jensen’s house, Jared made good on his promise, and after tucking Jensen into his bed he crashed on the couch. Even though Jensen wanted him to sleep with him on the bed because he thought that it would be better for Jared. He thought that way he could give a way out to Jared if he realised he didn’t want anything to do with the mess that was Jensen’s life.

But Jared had once again surprised Jensen that night. When Jensen woke up in the middle of the night screaming and thrashing in his bed, Jared was by his side in a heart beat. Giving him water and hugging him to his chest while he, for the third time that night, sobbed his heart out. He then slowly crawled behind Jensen on his bed and hugged him close to his chest for the rest of the night. To Jensen’s surprise he didn’t have any more nightmares that night. Soon after, that became their routine. Jared literally spent every minute of everyday at Jensen’s house when he wasn’t at work or he dragged Jensen’s ass to his own house. When he wanted to go out with his friends he took Jensen with him .

With Jensen’s permission, Jared had told his friends briefly about everything that had happened to Jensen. They all were very understanding, and they tried very hard to avoid topics that might trigger those memories for Jensen, so Jensen genuinely enjoyed spending time with them and soon they became his friends too. But avoiding the topic of the accident was kind of hard, given that they all pretty much worked at the beach, or they had nieces or nephews. So after a while, with Jared’s insistence, Jensen finally agreed to meet a therapist.

That had helped him tremendously over the past months. He finally was able to get rid of the guilt - not all of it of course - but he was getting better. He had called his parents several times, and with Jared’s help he even called Josh.

That was an intense day. Jensen had been fidgeting with his phone practically all day, but Jared was there by his side, talking to him and comforting him when it was needed. He hugged him after the phone call that had him in tears again. He hadn’t realised how much he had missed Josh and talking to him till he called him. It was good to hear his voice again, and when Josh told him that he didn’t blame him for anything that happened, Jensen felt he could finally believe that.

Everything went pretty smoothly after that for both him and Jared. They had great time together, not to mention the sex! The passion and heat between them was amazing. The first time they were together Jensen was so nervous, worried that he might hurt Jared somehow, but Jared had reassured him through it all. When he finally was pressed against Jared to the hilt he felt complete, he felt whole.

*****  
_“Jay” Jensen said choked up._  
_“I know Jen I know” Jared said._  
_“You… this… this is everything.”_  
_“I know, Move Jensen. Please move Jen.” Jared said looking up at him with those beautiful hazel eyes._  
_“I love you Jay, I love you so much” Jensen said while kissing Jared’s face and neck._  
_“I love you too Jen.” Jared said back._  
******

After that they soon decided to move in together. Since Jared owned his own house, and his house was way bigger than Jared’s condo, Jensen had moved in with him. Jensen had also begun to take some courses in physical therapy at the local college and started to work at Jeff’s supermarket too.

That was a tough decision for Jensen, he didn’t want to be more of a burden on Jared and his uncle, but with the college he couldn’t take a full time job, and he couldn’t go back to the sea either. That was one thing he hadn’t been able to get back to yet well that and taking of his shirt on the beach, he still was even a little bit self conscious around Jared when ever he took of his clothes. But Jared assured him every time that he was still beautiful, that the scar only showed how strong he was and how lucky he was that Jensen was with him. So he accepted the job, he didn’t have much of a choice, but when Jeff reassured him several times that he actually needed the help, and he wanted to have more free time, Jensen finally relaxed a little bit.

Now here he was, watching his muscular boyfriend’s tanned back under the beautiful sun with drops of water glistening on his skin.

Jared caught his eyes and smiled, waving at him. Jensen waved back and nodded when Jared mouthed, “5 more minutes”. He was content sitting there watching his beautiful boyfriend be gentle and kind with a smiling boy.

"Okay Mikey, we’ll try one more time! Just set your feet a shoulder’s width apart and stay steady on the board.” Jared told the little boy.

Jensen looked at the scene in front of him, the boy had good posture but still needed more work. He swam over the wave on his surfboard with Jared in tow. When he got to the wave and started to stand up, he lost his balance. He fell off the board and as Jared swam towards him to grab the kid, the wave crashed into them.

Jensen jumped up on his feet so fast, running towards the shore, looking to where they had gone under water, muttering, “Come on, Jared, Come on.”

He soon saw a little head floating on the water. It was the kid, Mikey. Thankfully he had a life jacket on, so he had floated. Jensen walked a few more steps into the water to grab the kids hand and take him back to beach. But still there was no sign of Jared.

When he got the kid safely to the beach, he looked back and saw there was still no sign of Jared. He was becoming more worried by the second, he was torn between standing there, calling for help or going in the water himself.

He finally thought, “Fuck it! He wasn’t gonna lose another person he loved to the sea.” He ran towards the water and then dove in.

He saw Jared under the water, struggling to get away from something. He swam faster. When he got closer he saw Jared’s feet were tangled in some rusty rope. Jared looked up and saw Jensen, shock clear on his face. But there wasn’t enough time to celebrate together. Jensen kept on pulling on the rope along with Jared, but the damn thing was stuck harder than it looked.

Jensen felt Jared’s hand loosening on the rope. He looked at him, and could see that Jared’s eyes were closing slowly. “NO” Jensen thought. He held Jared’s face in his hands and looked into his eyes.  
“Stay with me, Jared, stay with me.” He hoped Jared could read his mind just like always. Jared smiled faintly but he still couldn’t keep his eyes open. He was running out of breath , so Jensen got back to pulling the rope as hard as he could. After few tugs, the rope finally broke in the middle. Jensen looked back at Jared, but his eyes were closed, and his body was limp in the water.

Jensen’s blood froze. “No, No, No!” he couldn’t lose any one else. He held Jared’s limp body in his arms, and swam for the surface.

Once they reached the surface Jensen took a deep breath and swam faster towards the beach. He could see Mike, Tom and Katie standing there, but he couldn’t focus on them. All his focus was on Jared, talking to him non-stop, “It’s okay, babe, you are gonna be okay.”

Arriving back at the beach, he slowly put Jared’s body down and reached for his pulse. He didn’t feel anything, and he couldn’t see the rise and fall of Jared’s strong chest as usual, and he went pale.  
“Come on, Jared! Come on; open your eyes for me.” He told Jared while massaging his chest, but when nothing happened he started artificial respiration, blowing air into his mouth and nose, all the while crying and talking with Jared in between blows.

"Come on Jay, come on! Open your eyes. You can’t leave me alone… not me… not now!” Jensen was openly crying now, he could hear Tom and Mike talking to him or barking orders at someone, but he couldn’t hear them. All his focus was on Jared, his eyes and his breathing.

After few agonizing seconds which felt like hours to Jensen, finally Jared took a huge breath and started coughing immediately. When he slowly opened his eyes Jensen couldn’t help the tearful laugh that escaped him. He bent forward and crashed into Jared chest, laughing and crying at the same time.

He felt a hand around his waist, Jared’s. He knew he had to get up, to let Tom and Mike take a look at him, check his vitals and be sure everything was okay, but he just couldn’t leave Jared, not now.

He felt Jared slowly getting up in a sitting position, but he didn’t, couldn’t let go of his chest. Jared was now hugging him with both of his arms, murmuring comfort in his ear. “Shhhh Jen, I’m here, I’m here”

“You… you weren’t… I … I thought … I lost you…” Jensen told Jared between sobs, crying into his chest.

"Jen… I’m here, see, You saved me.” Jared said while putting Jensen’s hand on his chest. When Jensen felt Jared's pulse, his sobs started to calm down a little. After a moment Jared pushed back a little and held Jensen’s face between his hands, making him look up into his eyes. “You saved me, Jensen, you came in the water and saved me. I’m so proud of you.”

"I…I love you so much.” Jensen said, looking into those wonderful, rainbow colored eyes.

"I love you too.” Jared leaned into Jensen and kissed him slowly on his lips. But what started as a slow and tender kiss soon turned rough. Jensen needed to feel Jared alive and well, and Jared wanted to show Jensen how proud of him he was.

They came out of their haze when they heard cat calls, and Mike saying, “Get a room.” Jensen suddenly became aware of people around them, turned bright red and hid his face in Jared’s chest once again.

"As much as I hate to break up this love fest, we gotta take this big lug to check him over. Then you can take him back to your lair, Jensen, and have your wicked way with him,” Tom said with a smirk that made Jensen blush furiously once again.

"They’re idiots, babe. Don’t listen to them. Although I don’t mind you having a wicked way with me,” Jared whispered in Jensen’s ear with that husky voice that always turned him on, and suddenly Jensen wished he had an actual lair to keep Jared in forever.  
XXXXX  
Later that night Jensen took Jared home, holding onto his hand the whole ride from the beach to their house. As soon as the got into the house, Jensen pushed Jared against the wall and kissed him fiercely untill they ran out of air.

"Jay.. I …I need you!”  
"You can have me, Jen! Always.”

They kissed each other all the way, till they reached the bedroom. Once inside, Jensen pushed Jared onto the bed and kissed him roughly, trailing kisses from behind Jared’s ears and down his neck.

Jared started moaning prettily, making all the noises that made Jensen go crazy. He slowly reached down for the collar of Jared’s shirt and undressed him, kissing down his body and making his way down over his chest, till he reached his navel.

“Jen.. Jen.. I …” Jared moaned.  
"Shhhh, Jay, I’ve got you.” With one swift move Jensen pulled off Jared’s pants and underwear together.

He looked down at Jared’s body all naked and tan, “So beautiful, Jay!”  
"Please, Jen, I need you!”

And how could Jensen resist when Jared pleaded with him so beautifully? Jensen got rid of his clothes as fast as he could, and he was back onto Jared in just seconds, kissing him hard. When once again they pulled apart for air, Jensen reached for the bottle of lube on the night stand and coated his finger with it.

He locked eyes with Jared and slowly pushed his finger into Jared’s heated body. Jared looked back into his eyes, moaning while Jensen’s finger filled him up.

"God Jay, you don’t know what you do to me!”  
"Kiss me Jensen, please kiss me!” Jensen bent down to kiss him again while fucking him with his finger.

Soon Jared was moaning and panting hard, so Jensen pushed two fingers in. By the time he got to three fingers Jared was basically writhing on bed, “Jen more.. please I need more.”  
Truth was Jensen couldn’t wait any longer either. He needed to feel Jared, to feel his heat around himself. So he removed his fingers and lubed up his dick. He looked into Jared’s eyes and asked, “Ready, Jared?” because as much as he wanted to fuck Jared, hurting him was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

"I’m ready, Jen! Do it!” so with a long thrust Jensen buried himself in Jared to the hilt. He stopped for a moment, letting both him and Jared to catch their breath. When Jared nodded after a few seconds, Jensen started moving. His thrusts were long and slow at first, but they soon started to get rougher, just like the kiss on the beach, “Jay i.. I cant hold back! Not tonight… I need to feel you.”

Jared reached up and held Jensen’s hand, putting it on his heart, “Then don’t be! I’m right here, Jen, I’m here, and I’m fine… I love you!”  
Jensen kissed Jared again, and said, “I love you too.” With that, Jensen let go of all his inner restraint and started fucking Jared fast and hard, hitting his prostate on every thrust.

After few thrusts they both started moaning and panting hard, “Jen, Jen.. I’m close”  
"Me too Jay, together!” Jensen told him.

Two, three thrusts, and they were both coming, moaning each other’s names. Jensen slowly pulled out his dick, and when Jared moaned at the loss, he whispered, “its okay, Jay, I’m just gonna get a wash cloth to clean you up.”  
He came back a few minutes later with a wash cloth and cleaned between Jared’s thighs and back. Throwing the cloth down again, crawled on the bed next to Jared, pulling the covers up over both of them.

Jared turned around then and buried his face into Jensen’s neck, inhaling his scent. Jensen hugged Jared closer to his chest and started petting his hair. “I love you so much Jay”

"I love you too”  
XXXXX


	5. Epilogue

“Uncle Jensen, Uncle Jensen look at me” little Mary called to Jensen where he was playing with Jared’s nephews in the sea.  
“I see you, sweet pea!” Jensen called, trying to hold his balance as an excited 5 year old jumped on his back.

“Hey little rascals, are you giving Uncle Jensen a hard time?” a very amused Jared asked as he swam up to them.

“No Uncle Jay, we re just pony back riding!” little Billy Padalecki giggled.

“Oh, I thought ponies only lived on the land,” Jared said, reaching over and hugging his nephew back from Jensen. “Which reminds me, your dad summoned us all to the house.”

All the kids started whining which made Jensen and Jared laugh. “Hey there is hot cocoa inside for everyone,” Jensen pitched in helpfully.

Between them, they got all three kids back to the beach and somewhat dressed to go back to the house.

Just as they’d finished their task, Jensen’s mom appeared.

“Aren’t you two supposed to be ready for the rehearsal dinner?” she asked them both with a knowing grin.

They both hung their heads, as shameful as a couple of five year olds getting caught with their hand in a cookie jar. Jensen caught Jared’s eye, and they both giggled together.

“Sorry mom. I guess Jay and I are to blame for the aqua Gene in the kids’ bodies,” Jensen said playfully as he went and kissed her cheek.

“Uh huh, I’m gonna take these three back to the house so they can get some shuteye. You two better get back home soon, too, Sherry made tuna sandwiches.”

“We’ll be back soon, momma donna,” Jared promised her.

“Okay, you three, off home if you want hot chocolate,” Donna told the kids.  
Jensen and Jared watched them running in the direction of the house, screaming while Donna tried to keep up after them. Jared chuckled and looked at Jensen, “I can’t believe we are getting married tomorrow”

Jensen smiled back and kissed Jared chastely, “It’s like a dream come true. I’ve been thanking anyone responsible for bringing you into my life, each night since I met you, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.” He put his arms around Jared’s waist and pulled him closer.

“I’m the one who should be thankful, Jen. I found a best friend, a lover, and now I am able to call you mine for the rest of our lives.” Jared put his forehead against Jensen’s.

“I was always yours, Jay, even before I was brave enough to admit it. But from the day I met you on the beach, way before we talked, I knew my heart belonged to you. You saved me, Jay, I was drowning deeper and deeper in my sadness and despair, and you saved me. I couldn’t have done it without you”

“Jen, you were so brave, willing to fight, not for yourself but for us. You gave us a chance, and look, here we are, a night away from our wedding day,” Jared said planting a kiss on Jensen’s lips and tracing his hand on the scar in the middle of Jensen’s chest.

Jensen moaned when he felt the touch on his chest. He still felt venerable when ever he saw it but it also reminded him of all the comforting and loving words Jared told him when he touched the scar. He began kissing Jared harder. They were soon lost in each other, the feel, the taste of each other and the droplets of salty water on their lips. Jared started moaning into Jensen’s mouth, and Jensen ate each moan while sucking harder on Jared’s mouth and tongue.

When they pulled apart to catch their breath, Jensen held Jared’s face and said, “As much as I’d love to carry this on, sweetheart, we have a rehearsal dinner to get to, and two sets of mothers that won’t get any happier in the minutes we don’t show up.”

Jared chuckled and said, “Good thing we have rest of our lives to make up for it!”

“Yes, so good.”

__   
  


**Author's Note:**

> So the name of this story came from Jensen's song "drwoning"  
> Other that the obvious connection between the song and the story i felt that the lyrics and amotions portrayed in that song was very close to the emotions that Jensen in my fic was going through.
> 
> So i strongly recommend this song both to listen in general and also to listen while reading this fic.


End file.
